You know how it is. You’re out in society and there’s a woman harassing you, she’s startled you, you’re doing something stupid, she’s sticking her tongue in your earlobe and she’s going to whisper something incredibly dirty in your ear. Ball gags turn you on? She tells you she wishes you would gag her. Do you do that kind of thing? she asks. What she’s really asking is if you’re willing to look at her in a vulnerable position, with your mouth open, begging. And you freeze.
You’ve been kicked in the ass, even handcuffed. But the gags? The ones with balls? Is she serious right now? There’s so much going through your mind. If you’re honest with yourself, you’re a little excited, but also confused, a little disgusted and a little intimidated. Ignore those first impressions of “confusion”, “disgust” and intimidation and focus on the truth. Yes, you are excited. If you’ve never had the fantasy of a mouth gag, rest assured that it’s because you’ve had all kinds of associations with it, namely, the BDSM variety.
But you might be surprised to know how many “vanilla” couples introduce mouth gags and ball gags into their sexual game. Yes, the key word here is “game”. Yes, you can penetrate her all day long with exquisitely shaped devices designed to hit her G-spot, promise her a vaginal orgasm and vibrate like an energizing rabbit at full speed. But the use of a mouth gag is a much more effective and slower method that excites many people and turns them into believers. Here’s how you can introduce these interesting “toys” into your sexual play and increase your pleasure.
Why mouth gags are so effective
Many couples introduce gadgets into their sexual game. People who think of people who use ball gags have a very particular image in mind. This image usually involves whips, chains, maybe some heavy metal music, possibly a gay flirting situation. These people have obviously watched way too much porn. The truth is that you don’t have to be a latex fetishist to incorporate mouth gags into your sex games.
This sexual “get-up” is based on a level of fantasy. It is your imagination that enhances your sexual experience, not the equipment itself. This is very different from using a whip, for example, where it is said that the pleasure for a “submarine” is felt when the whip actually makes an impact with the skin. In this case, it is sensation, not imagination. But even people who are not attracted to S&M play during sex can be aroused by ball gags, because it is the promise of a partner’s vulnerability, stimulated by the partner’s real image.
Because, let’s be honest: there is very little that is really sexually stimulating about having a hard plastic ball in your mouth. Ball gags are incredibly sexy precisely because they are a “beginner’s” outfit but not necessarily reserved for people who practice hardcore BDSM. The image of one partner, seen by the other, with a gag in their mouth, open, vulnerable, maybe even drooling, asking to be released, puts an element of power in the equation without ever involving pain. This level of fantasy is, in fact, so satisfying and pleasurable that partners who are honest enough with each other can get into it, even if they are both just looking for unattached sex.
Types of gags
There are different types of gags that can, pardon the pun, get the ball rolling. You can certainly run errands together or help your partner find one that suits him or her. Although it is not limited to the preference of one partner,
It should really be comfortable for whoever’s going to use it the most. There is a very real element of trust involved in using a gag. You don’t need to be verbally abused or even use dirty words. You can be loving and slightly teasing when you use it. It is therefore helpful if the partner wearing the gag is comfortable.
As a starting point, look for a gag that fills the mouth and can be held comfortably for an extended period of time without causing pain or discomfort in the jaw. This means it shouldn’t be so big that you have to hold it tight. Even if you can hold it for a while, it doesn’t mean that the pain won’t make you work overtime.
The mouth gag should not cause pain or discomfort. In this case, it is not a question of “taking the plunge or going home”. It’s “go for comfort”. Beacons must allow a partner to make sounds. In general, a silicone ball is the best way to start because it is easy to clean.
That’s another thing you’ll want to look into. Get a comfortable leather strap, not a plastic one. They’re smooth and supple on the skin and wrap comfortably around your head. You want to avoid getting your hair caught, so use a belt buckle or snap strap.
A tip from a pro
Avoid O-rings if you are a beginner. Yeah, they’re sexy and can be something to “graduate from”. You want to get used to the feeling of having an open mouth when she can rest comfortably or bite on a ball rather than having her stretched out by an O-ring. There are also gags that partners can bite on if a ball doesn’t look attractive. The advantage is a lack of drool and breathing becomes easier.
Play Dirty: Use Mouth Gags for sexual pleasure
Mouth gags can be a great way to start the evening’s sex play. The partner who wears it can put himself in a “submissive” position, i.e. on all fours.
A tip from a pro
Because of this mixture of fantasy, role-playing and power, it is good to have a safety “gesture”. Gagging the mouth can prevent a word from being pronounced (especially if it is a ball gag). Partners must therefore decide which gestures will mark the end of the role-play.
The other partner can begin to circle them, observing them as an “object”, commenting on their desire or asking them what they want. Of course, since the other partner cannot answer, it is very exciting to know that they are asking for a release. Or maybe they tease the other partner more.
Yes, there’s an element of role-playing when it comes to using mouth gags. Partners don’t have to be “dominant” and “submissive” in a brutal or hardcore way. It can just be light and fun. Or it can go further.
You can also both pull a fantasy type situation. Maybe there’s an intruder who’s been caught and is now receiving their just desserts. Or maybe there’s a maid who needs a little lesson. The two partners can even pretend to be strangers putting on a show. If you’re a little less intimidated and maybe even curious about a gag, go ahead. Keep an open mind and keep communication open, you’ll be surprised at how natural this can seem.